You may have been taking part in a large amount of online quizzes of “Is he/she cheating on me?” before you get to this page. You smelled something queer and now you are standing in the dilemma of devastating truth or happy life. It is unpleasant but true that you have to face the reality and do something to protect yourself and finish the unfortunate marriage.
Should I spy on a cheating spouse?
Before you decide to catch a cheating spouse, we have to remind you that “trust comes first”. Life is full of drama as coincidences and mistakes occur to every body every day. Perhaps you and your partner become the lead of the drama. However, trust is dangerous as well because you may live in endless lies if you choose to believe in your spouse. We suggest you make clear whether it is the evidence of your spouse’s loyalty or the fear of your spouse’s infidelity that stops you from investigating and catching the cheating spouse.
In addition, according to the principle about how to treat each other in a marriage, spying on your spouse is never the right thing to do. However, it is the most effective way to catch a cheating spouse. Some marrieds may also try to ask questions to obtain information of a cheating spouse but the result always turns to be a failure. If you desire to discover the truth and catch the cheating spouse red-handed, some extends of spying is almost always needed.
How to spy on a cheating spouse?
You can hire a private investigator who will watch your spouse, monitor who he/she is with, where he/she goes and what he/she does, discreetly and confidentially. They do this through surveillance, utilization of vehicle tracking devices and so on. Speak to a private investigator about your situation and they will carry out an investigation plan that would work best for you. The private investigator will charge you according to the hours and labors spent on the investigation but the cost is usually very high.
Computer Monitoring Software
A cost-effective way is to install computer monitoring software – Mac keyloggers and PC keyloggers. They allow you to see everything your spouse does online by monitoring Emails, chat room discussions, instant messenger chats and Internet activity. Mac keyloggers and PC keyloggers establish timely records of all online activities and send the reports to you by Emails or some other stealthy ways.
Tips about catching a cheating spouse
Once you believe spying is the way to catching the cheating spouse, you will have a lot of things to do, because catching a cheating spouse can be very difficult. It is helpful to keep the following in mind over the investigation:
Keep a record of your spouse’s reports and activities.
A cheating spouse may be confused and unsure about the stories he/she told you before because they are a pack of lies. They may change stories if you ask about the dates, hours, people involved, reasons or excuses and so on for second time. Therefore keeping a journal can be vital to figure out whether he/she is lying or not. If possible, check your spouse’s calls, text messages, online chat history, website history, receipts, credit card statements to see if there are frequently-contact phone numbers, online flirting behaviors or suspicious payment or withdraw. But this move may end up in vain because a cheating spouse will clear all of those clues before you take actions.
Do not let him know your suspicion.
Without doubt, it is hard to handle your emotions and feelings and act as if nothing happens before a cheating spouse. However, it can’t be more important to stay calm. Even if you are extremely angry about his/her lies , avoid saying anything about your suspicions, investigations or conclusions. When you are observing the cheating spouse, he/she is also monitoring you for signs of suspicion. And if he/she detects your suspicion, he/she will adjust his/her behavior to much more stealthy to conceal the affair. In a result, your investigation becomes more difficult or even unsuccessful.
Do not confront your spouse until you have proof.
It is better to gather as many evidences as possible before confronting a cheating spouse. A cheating spouse will deny the infidelity by nature and then fabricates stories to patch up the lie. If you have no proof of his cheating behaviors, you lose your chances. Though you have enough evidence, do not reveal all of them at once. If you do so, there are chances for a cheating spouse to set up a story that fits all of your questions – even if the story is full of doubtful points. What’s worse, the cheating spouse will become alert, which leads to a harder process to go on with the investigation.